The human body is a very wise organism. It is designed to survive and has done so for many thousands of years. Your own body will send you signals all the time; pay attention to them. For example, when someone asks you to do something, your body will let you know if it is right for you to do it.
If fear arises, pay attention to it briefly—for only thirty seconds or less. View it as a warning. Listen to the wisdom of that warning and take action accordingly. However, never let fear alone make a decision for you. Often our fear comes from the scared little person inside us who fears rejection.
If you’re unsure of what your body is telling you, stop what you’re doing for a moment. If necessary, say to the person or people you are with, “Give me just a moment, please.” If necessary, turn away or leave the room. Then simply stand or sit quietly. Cast your gaze downward and take two or three deep, slow breaths. This will help you access what your body is telling you. Listen.
You will need time and practice to learn to listen to what your body tells you in order to access its wisdom. Internally test out each possible response; over time, you’ll be able to feel which one is right for you.
Please pay particular attention to anger and fear. These emotions can quickly close our hearts, and when our hearts are closed, we cannot connect to ourselves, let alone to others. Yet when we don’t cling to or feed anger and fear, they can subside as quickly as they arise.
When we get angry with our children and say harsh things to them, our hearts are closed, and we are disconnected from both their hearts and our own. Yet ten minutes later, once our anger has subsided, our heart starts to open again. We reconnect to our heart, feel love for our kids once again, and feel badly for what we said or did.
Excerpted from Nancy’s new book, Everyday Narcissism, published in 2017 by Central Recovery Press. Copyright © 2017 by Nancy Van Dyken.