Earthbound Nonattachment

Nonattachment isn’t some ethereal, metaphysical, or mystical activity. It’s a down-to-Earth practice for living in the here and now instead of making ourselves unhappy.

Most of us live in some form of attachment. We’re attached to the car we drive, or how much money we make, or the home or neighborhood we live in.

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Personal Boundaries and Passivity

One common variant of failing to honor our own boundaries is passivity.

There are times in everyone’s life when passiveness—being patient, waiting and seeing, taking a step back, or letting someone else take the lead—can be wise. For some of us, though, passiveness becomes a way of life. We let others set our goals, guide us, and tell us what to do. We rarely or never state what we want or need. We don’t take responsibility for ourselves or our feelings.
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Truth with Kindness

Honesty with kindness is the cornerstone of any relationship. Often people are afraid to be truly honest, fearing the other person will get hurt or angry and go away.

Freud said our biggest drive in life is sex. Around 1918, Adler disagreed with Freud and stated that belonging was our greatest drive. Being honest thus threatens our basic need to belong, challenging us to be mature, to do the difficult thing, and risk rejection or disapproval.
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